the difference a year or two can make....

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I've recently been thinking about how much my life has changed over the past year. Infact it has changed positively in the past couple of weeks! I actually look back a little & actually think I can't believe it too! It has changed little by little every year actually but the past year seems to have been my best one. I never imagined I would be where I am now. You know onwards & upwards....

 

I've decided I'm just going to try & write a very little, ok ok...maybe a fairly lengthy post (you know I don't do short posts very well) about the past year or so. Of course, I'm going to try & find a few photos to fit in too. :) 

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First off without a doubt I'm going to have to mention the exact reason I'm actually here, blogging in the first place. One word for you, anxiety...if you suffer with anxiety you will know how relatable the below picture is....

 

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This month a year ago I decided to start blogging & I can honestly say I haven't looked back since. I started blogging about my friend anxiety. I thought it would be a good way to kind of express myself & have something to focus on, little did I know I would become connected to so many people too. I absolutely LOVE it! I really love the whole process of blogging...the planning what I'm going to write about (sometimes its just straight out of the blue, random & whenever I want to blog) , taking or finding pictures, writing my post, receiving lovely comments on my posts. The blogging community really is a lovely community to be part of & it is safe to say I have created some friendships too.

 

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Over the past couple of years my thoughts really have changed but the negative thoughts can easily win if you let them out do the positive ones. I've chosen over time to change my negative thoughts for positive ones instead & I can honestly say I'm in a much better frame of mind. Don't get me wrong, the negatives do creep in every now & then but I just change them for happy positive ones instead. It isn't as simple as just changing your thoughts once or twice & expect it to work, you have to put in a lot of hard work & it should pay off...it certainly has for me.

 

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 I do think that really life hasn't got any easier as such, I certainly have got stronger as a person. I'm beginning to find my own voice, ooohh how exciting..I'm gaining my own voice at the age of twenty two...finally, praise the lord?! I used to really struggle to let go of things...whether that be something that happened, a thought in my head, a friendship or relationship that had ended. But I now feel I handle these different situations a lot better, I don't hold onto things anymore...obviously if they aren't worth holding on to. I know that I'm the stronger person for walking away instead of holding on to something that might never change. Over the past year I have certainly learnt who & what is important to me & my life. I've also learnt to put myself first sometimes too, cos sometimes you have to be selfish & look after yourself...you're the one person you can guarantee will be there for you at the end of each day. I advice each & every one of you to make a friend in yourself, embrace yourself, love yourself, become your own best friend :) Did I just sound really cheesy there? I don't care, that's how I feel & think.

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One thing I certainly have learnt to do is hold my head up high. Especially when it comes down to my anxiety. I don't shy away as much as I used to. On the 6th February this year I decided to take part in the time to talk day, which was so much fun actually. I even got to meet a friend of mine who I'd been talking to for over a year. This time last year I was pretty low actually & was waiting to start my next lot of therapy, I think. I'd already had one the previous year but that seemed to send me backwards...not the direction I was hoping for exactly. I've now started to talk a lot more about my anxiety, both on my blog & in real life too. Anxiety is only a little part of me, yes it can sometimes feel a huge part but I'm not going to let it define me. If I feel someone should know about my situation I'd much rather be honest & mention my situation. Like before Christmas I applied for a job, I had two interviews & from the first interview I was honest & open from the start...I literally mean within a couple of sentences I was in there dropping the anxiety bomb. Thankfully I had such a fantastic response from them & they were so understanding. Unfortunately I didn't get the Monday to Friday job with them but I have now got a Saturday job with them, which they hope will lead to a more permanent position....here is hoping! I know how lucky I am to have such a supportive bunch of people around me, I don't take any of it for granted.

Then the most recent thing to happen to me....I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!!!! I FLIPPING DID IT!!!! :D I still can't actually fully believe it, maybe it will sink in more next week when I would usually have my lesson or maybe when I actually get to drive a car on my own. I really can't wait to be able to have my own adventures & go to more places too. This time last year I genuinely never thought I would be able to drive. Luckily for me again, I got another person to add to my supportive bunch. My instructor Sharon, I contacted a few instructors being honest about how I was & two men said I should wait until I'm fully better....clearly they were clueless. Then two women were very understanding, I felt like I clicked with Sharon more so I went with her & she has been absolutely amazing during it all! I really am so grateful for her, she has been so understanding & supportive. So yeah, that happened & that's all I have to update you with I think...I just said that as if I've only wrote a little paragraph, as if that would happen!

 

I'm not sure I actually know anybody else who has passed their driving test & framed the certificate but because of my anxiety & situation it really is a massive achievement for me so I thought sod it, I'm framing it! So as you can tell from the photo above I treated myself to a pretty frame, even got a little bit of money off because a friend served me & got family & friends discount...thanks Adele! :) we all love a little bit of a saving, right?! :)

 

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A little note to leave you all on...

This post wasn't just for me, it was for you too...

 

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If you have taken time out of your day to celebrate with me the difference a year can make, I would like to thank you very much! Ooohh & a MAHOOSSSIIVEEE thank you for all your lovely tweets, you guys are the best! :)

 

- Anna ♥