How many of you out there are always looking for somebodys approval? For somebody to justify your reasoning behind something. How many of you are scared about people judging you? People misjudging you? People being mean? I'm without a doubt one of them people, I care far too much about other peoples opinions of me & quite frankly I really shouldn't give any flying monkey poos...I'm getting better at not giving a toot, it's a working progress.
Out of the people I'd spoken to about this 90% were completely supportive, backing me completely, telling me to put myself first & just to leave. No job is worth it, they were right. Then 10% weren't as supportive, they were more like 'a job is a job', 'can't you have a word with them?', 'just think of the money'. One thing I've learnt in life is there will always be someone who disagrees with your actions, but you just have to do what's best for you.
So over the past week or so I had been thinking even more about leaving. I just felt like it was all a little too much for me, not really a suitable workplace for me, I didn't feel I was really connecting with the other people, too much pressure. I'm not one of those people who finds it easy no, I'm a people pleaser which unfortunately doesn't always help matters. You ask me to do you a favour chances are I'd say yes, even if I was well & truly pooped!
The point that made me really realise it wasn't worth it anymore was when I was awake til around 2am one morning, getting myself in a state, worrying about the whole thing. It really isn't worth the upset. I know that now. I'd end up making myself poorly over Christmas & it just isn't worth it. Health is one of the most important things in life.
Welllll, that was a) an update & b) a memory to add to the blog for whenever I feel like reading back over old posts. But Anna, don't worry...better things will come your way, have faith! (Yes, I have just pretty much wrote the end part as a note to my future self, as you do).
I want to add in a huageeeee thank you for those of you who have been so supportive & just listened, without judging. I'm so grateful! None of you have made me feel like a failure, hooorayyy!
♥
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You're definitely not a failure - getting your job was a huge step and one that deserves a pat on the back! Just because you've realised it's not right for you doesn't make that any less of an achievement - it's a cliché but life really is too short and you're much better off doing what your heart feels is best for you xx
ReplyDelete*pats back* thank you for such a lovely comment! <3 xxxx
DeleteYou're right. We shouldn't give a flying monkey poo about what anyone else thinks. Ugh. I reckon that's one of the biggest struggles in life, caring so much about what people think. New follower xx People who rant out their feelings in blogs are my favourite kind of bloggers <3
ReplyDelete-M
The Life of Little Me
without a doubt, we care too much about what other people think of us :/ :)
Deletethanks, mine too :) xxx
I would be proud of the fact you got the job and went, even though it was hard. you did it! If leaving was for the best, don't let anyone make you feel bad. Retail is very stressful and the shifts they give you change from week to week, so i's very here and there. I can see why you would want to leave to be honest, it wasn;t for me either. Onwards and upwards as they say.. you did something you can be proud of xx
ReplyDelete:) exactly Christina, some girl who had worked for them before did her induction, one shift & never came back :/ didn't even ring or hand in a letter...nothing :/
Deleteonwards & upwards indeed, what can we do now? :) xxx
It's brave to make the decision that something isn't right for you and to make a change regardless of what other people think and what you think you *should* do. So well done you!
ReplyDeleteAnd as Louisa said, you went and got a job which was a huge thing, the fact that it wasn't the right job for you doesn't take anything away from that achievement!
And if future Anna is reading this, I hope we've finally met in person by now, you deserve a big hug!
M x
Thank you Michelle, you are such a lovely lady! Exactly, its an achievement non the less :)
Deletewe NEED to meet & we WILL meet! :) xxx