five things I'm proud of myself for...

Yesterday I was in the supermarket when I spotted an ex boyfriends dad. That instantly made me think of him (the ex boyfriend of course) & how well he must be doing with his life now. I genuinely felt like bursting in to tears right there & then, just thinking at how sh*t I've done so far. What do I have to show for myself? Am I doing really well in life, on the successful scale? On the work scale? On the money scale? No, not really.

I was texting my friend at the time & her automatic response to me saying how well his son was doing in life was, 'you're doing amazing!!xxxxxx'. Now I think about it, I'm actually doing pretty well. On the success, job, work & money scale not so much but health wise, positivity wise, improvement wise I'm doing a pretty darn good job. My friend then suggested that I wrote a list of 5 things I'm proud of myself for instead so here I am...

1. my little online space, my blog.
My blog isn't highly viewed, doesn't have a million followers, hasn't been professionally created but you know what I'm proud of it. I'm proud of everything I create for my little blog. I'm proud of watching not only my growth on here but also the improvement & growth of my blog itself. I'm loving learning more in this journey too.

2. my photographs/photography.
The photo above doesn't exactly show off my photo skills does it :/ but hey, we'll just say I'm not good at photographing at nighttime or screens, deal? Deal! :) Why do screens never take a good photo? Any ideas?

 When I first started blogging I would just use photos of quotes I'd find on weheartit (I'm still a little bit addicted to that app/site) or I'd just take photos on my phone & upload them. Phone photos then turned into camera photos (a compact camera) now I've got a bridge camera (I don't understand what that means but I know it takes better photos). I'm more into learning about the settings when it comes to taking photos now. Almost every time I turn on my camera I learn something new. My photographs are certainly something I'm proud of & the improvements I'm making.

3. passing my driving test.
I've repeatedly said this but after experiencing panic attacks & anxiety starting between the age of 16/17 I never thought I'd ever be able to sit a single lesson, let alone sit over 60 & sit 2 driving tests. But I did it & I'm so proud of myself because I know just how hard it was for me.

4. being a good person.
Don't get me wrong I'm not any kind of angel or saint but I class myself as a good, genuine, honest person. I can occasionally be found fighting the urge to scream thank you at someone sarcastically whilst they don't have any manners after I've held the door open for them or let them go past in a busy shop. Sometimes when I'm driving I find myself fighting the urge to stick two fingers up at ignorant drivers. I thought I'd throw that bit in the mix cos I don't want to fully toot my own trumpet cos I'm not all good, nobody is but being a good person is something I'm proud of.

5. how far I've come.
Sometimes you have to loose something to make you appreciate it more. Freedom, health & independence were certainly something I lost. Until something is taken away from you, you don't fully realize how much it actually means to you. I now have all 3 of them back, to some degree anyway. Little improvements are made fairly often now.

This is a quote from my very first blog post, in the archives somewhere you can find a post when I looked back over old posts...if you want to of course.

So yes, that is the five things I'm proud of myself for. Maybe in a couple of years I'll be able to create a list of five different things I'm proud of myself for.

I just want to say a little thank you to Bethany (my friend who suggested I create the list), thank you for always being so supportive, so lovely, so genuine, so honest & just so you I guess. I know you've got a tough week ahead but I know you can make it & you know I'm only a text, tweet, imessage, facetime, phone call away if you need me!

If you're feeling abit poopy about yourself why not join in? Write a list of five things you're proud of yourself for, I'd love to read them!

♥