*sigh* another year older...

22nd January 2016, I turn twenty four...I'm sat writing this staring at the screen and questioning myself, am I really twenty four? Surely I can't be, this must be some kind of mistake? People still think I look sixteen but reality is, I'm not.

Birthdays are meant to excite us, aren't they?

Don't get me wrong, I was still excited about my birthday. I mean what's not to love about receiving lovely cards with thoughtful messages inside, hugs and well wishes in person and spending the whole day using the excuse 'well, it's my birthday' (yes I totally milk this one)! Oh and eating cake, don't forget the cake!

But this is the first year it's filled me with dread too. I'm feeling so anxious about all the judgments that are to come. All the expectations. All the comparisons. These are the things that can tear a person down, they can destroy a persons soul.

Life is different for every single one of us. So why should I be bothered about other peoples judgments towards me? I really shouldn't give a sh*t! But I do, because I'm only human. Admittedly though I'm gradually getting to that point though, where I'm realizing that my life is my life. 

I'm the one living it.

We really aren't robots, we aren't programmed to live life a set way. Far from it, life is very unpredictable. Different things happen that will try and break us. Things happen that will take everything away from us and make us work our butts off to get back what was once a normal life (anxiety I'm looking at you)!

Does it really matter that I'm not living life by the so called rules and expectations? Does this make me any less of a person? No, it doesn't. Far from it.

But you know what, with all the expectations, judgments and comparisons flying around I do know a few things for sure.

I'm the one who's been through what I've been through. I'm the one who knows exactly what it feels like to be me. I'm the one who knows fully how much I've grown as a person. I'm the one who knows what I'm capable of. I'm the one who knows my strengths and my weaknesses. I'm the one who knows me.

At the end of the day, the only person who can judge me and set any kind of expectations and comparisons against others is me. I choose to live my life the way I want to live it.

From now on I'm going to let other people's remarks, comments and judgments go in one ear and out the other because life is too short to care what other people think.