the comparison game, it's pointless.

Recently I've been comparing myself to others a little more than usual because I've recently found out that one of my ex boyfriends is living with his girlfriend and they're expecting a baby, another is engaged and living with his fiancee. I'm absolutely no way near either of them stages in my life but obviously as soon as I found out about them I was down and started to doubt myself, doubting my life. Yes, it was years ago we were together (I've been single for seven years now..and I'm totally ok with that) but I also find that certain people will always stick in your head and have a special place in your heart for a long time, especially if they meant something to you. If someone is in my life then I'll give them my all, admittedly sometimes it isn't wanted but that's just who I am.

I've been feeling really down about this, I haven't just been comparing myself to my two exes I've been comparing myself to everyone around my age it seems, so I thought I'd write about it because talking about whatever is bothering me helps and someone somewhere will be able to relate to this.

I'm completely understanding that things change and people move on but that doesn't make it easy. I know they are just living their lives and rightly so. They aren't doing any of this to hurt me, they've probably forgotten all about me completely. But I guess though when you're in a relationship you don't always see an end to it, you expect that person to stay in your life. I'm a lot more aware now that some people don't stick around but you know what, I'm not going to let that make me bitter. It's just the way life goes sometimes, I'm still hopeful that one day someone will walk into my life and prove me wrong. 

I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is to not care what other people are doing with their lives, it's exactly that...their lives and not yours. But unfortunately it isn't always that easy, so I'm going to share with you a few things I've learnt when it comes to comparing yourself to others (cos I'm starting to feel a little bit of a pro at this)!...

Social media is the worst thing for you when you are in self comparison mode, you'll be scrolling through profiles and thinking 'why is everything so perfect for them?'. Stop right there, nothing is ever perfect and a picture doesn't really capture what's going on in someones life. Some people might post happy pictures as a front, to make people jealous of their lives. Don't be sucked in by this. Live your life, your way and get off social media every now and then. It's good for your soul, honestly try it...there's a whole world out there.

Don't let comparing yourself to others make you bitter, every single persons life is moving at a different pace and that's ok. Your life will work out just the way it's meant to eventually. Photos tend to be the things I compare my life to most but don't let them make you sad. Instead twist your thoughts around. Be happy for people, it will make you a better person and you'll feel a lot more self worth.

You don't have to blend in, you don't have to be doing what everyone else is doing. It's cool not to be 'cool'. One example, I'm twenty four and I've still not been out 'clubbing' because that just doesn't appeal to me but does that make me any less of a person? No, it doesn't. I could write a nice long list of things I haven't done that I 'should' be doing or 'should' have done by now, but that doesn't make me any less of a person and it doesn't make you any less of one either.

Follow upbeat, inspiring and motivational accounts online instead. I'm sure when a lot of people see inspiring and upbeat quotes they want to grab the nearest sick bucket but I don't, I'm a sucker for a positive quote...throw them all my way please and thank you. One of my favourite Instagram accounts right now is nakedwithanxiety. I'll share with you a screenshot of her account and I personally think if you don't follow her you're missing out. Danielle (the girl behind the account) will remind you daily that you are important, that you are amazing, that you are worthy. Her daily reminders just put a smile on my face and make my day a little bit better. We must remember we are never alone, ever.

When you are comparing yourself to others it feels like a very lonely time but it doesn't have to be, someone will be there to listen. Even if it means having to write a blog post about it, someone will listen and you'll feel less alone. 

Reality check, life isn't always sunshine and flowers. Sometimes life is pants and that's ok. This post will hopefully be a little reminder to you that you don't have to be doing everything that everyone else is doing. Just be you and live your life the way you want to live it.