Misunderstood..

Usually when it comes to posting I love to find myself a picture on weheartit but today I searched & couldn't find one but I absolutely loved this quote & thought it was very fitting so I decided to create my own version. Firstly I'd love to thank the powers of editing tools, obviously my teeth aren't that white, my lips aren't that pink

 & my skin isn't that clear....

 

 

This is a feeling I have really felt today after trying to explain my anxiety to my dad, I think personally a brick wall might have understood a little bit better. Mental health really is different for each sufferer just like any thing health related, no two people are affected the same. Personally I think sometimes your family & friends can find it hard to understand because they will have known the pre mental health affected you. I know I sometimes find it hard to get my head around & come to terms with my own anxiety at times too. I guess the whole point of this post is just really to express myself.

 

Unless you have experienced something you won't understand, you can try but the reality is you really won't get it. Until I was affected by mental health I didn't know such a thing existed. So if you have been affected by mental health then you will understand & have some reasoning for fellow sufferers & survivors. If not then I'm going to try & give you a little idea of what my day to day life can be like. You know that overwhelming feeling of nausea that hits you when your coming down with a stomach bug, & then once your bug has passed the feeling disappears. Well imagine having that feeling literally every single day, at different strengths. Imagine going out & wanting to come straight back home. Imagine feeling like you can't work, not because you don't want to but the basic fact of you don't want to let your employer down. Imagine you don't want to go on family holidays because you feel like you wont be able to enjoy yourself for racing thoughts/physical feelings & ruin the holiday for others. Imagine you don't make plans because you know full well that sometimes the thoughts in your mind won't stop going round & round or the feelings will be so strong that you won't be able to enjoy yourself. Imagine missing so many plans that you don't remember what it was like to live a "normal" lifestyle or actually imagine having one again. Imagine not being able to leave the house when the thoughts & physical feelings are so flipping strong.

 

People are so judgemental, that is just part of life. When people see someone who is physically ill they don't question it. The typical example is if you broke your leg, people would see you in the street & be sympathetic & send get well wishes. Or if you had to call in sick to work because you couldn't make it in, they wouldn't question you. They would just sympathise & try to understand.

 

When people don't understand someone with a mental health difficulty they might make remarks like, "what, there is nothing wrong with you?"...."oh, you don't work..why not?"...."what's wrong with you, you look alright"...."well you was fine yesterday"...."it's just in your mind, just stop thinking about it"....These are just a few examples that I've heard of & actually been aimed at myself.

 

Basically all I'm saying is that people might not understand me or my situation but I've started to not pay any attention to anyone else. I know my situation, I have to live with myself & my anxieties every day. Only I can make judgement about my life & difficulties.

 

Well that seemed like a lovely rant for you all, thank you for reading. Especially if you made it all the way to here.

 

- Anna ♥

My Driving Journey - Lesson 23 & 24

Tuesday 10th September

Well today we drove, I always feel like I need to say we even though we both didn't drive so I drove us to the next town. If your new to reading then hello & welcome, you will be unaware that the next town causes me the highest anxiety. It's unbelievable to think I now just seem to manage to drive there without even really thinking about it. If that isn't proof that repeated exposure works, I don't know what is. So yes, I drove us to the next town & we basically just had a ride around. Went down some roads I hadn't been down before, ones that we had just drove past before. I experienced bigger roundabouts. Roundabouts are something that I'm always amazed with by the whole system of everyone filtering in & out. I think I'm more amazed when I'm a passenger. When I'm driving I'm like argggghhh, I never fully know when to go. I am getting better at it, which is obviously progress. We don't all get everything, straight away.

I can tell you that some pedestrians really don't care if the lights have changed to green, they just walk on by, literally inches away from the front of the car. Are you one of them crazy people? If you are then, please do stop..I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds it annoying but it's also not exactly safe.

 

Friday 13th September

Oooooh, Friday the 13th? It's meant to be unlucky right. I'm not a believer in all that if I'm honest & this lesson was actually one of my best lessons ever. It went really well & I was really pleased with myself. I got to practice doing 3 point turns, parallel parking & reversing around a corner. When I practiced these I got to practice & then just continue on driving, usually when I practice I obviously straighten up & then stop. In my lesson I actually got to practice parallel parking over a speed bump. Sounds really scary right? It actually wasn't at all. A car had decided to park half on a speed bump & half off so I got to practice with that car. Why you would park half on a speed bump I have no idea..Anyway, the lesson went really well. I'm so pleased with my progress I'm making.

 

 

I haven't cancelled any of my lessons yet, yipeeee!

I like to write how I did safety behaviour wise, I managed Fridays lesson without any but on Tuesday I had indigestion so something had to be done to ease it. Safety behaviour isn't the end of the world so all is good. I'll not let it bother me.

 

Are you learning to drive?

Have you recently passed?

How did you keep motivated with practicing your theory?

 

Let me know in the comments please,

I love hearing from you.

 

Thanks for reading.

- Anna ♥

25 facts about me...part one

I really enjoy reading these kind of posts & watching the videos because you always find something new about the blogger or youtuber & feel more connected to them in some way or other. Usually it's either 25 facts or 50 facts. I personally think 50 facts is a lot to kind of read in one go. So I've decided to just do 25 for now & then I'll do another 25 in the future.
Let's begin....

I couldn't do a post without involving a little image
 & I didn't feel comfortable uploading one of myself yet.

1. My name is Anna.
2. I'm twenty one.
3. I live with my parents.
4. I suffer from anxiety & panic attacks, ok maybe you already knew that.
5. I'm currently trying to get my life back on track.
6. I have a slight addiction to nail varnish, I think that deserves its own post.
7. I have never been drunk, actually I've never drunk alcohol...one time I did try some wine & spat it back in the glass, oh so lady like & elegant. So that doesn't count cos I didn't swallow it.
8. I have never been on a airplane...ever.
9. I'm currently learning to drive to help me overcome my anxiety & panic attacks, well help me cope, give me something to focus on & it gets me out the house a little at a time.
10. I used to play football for the school team & local team.
11. I was a brownie & a guide.
12. I have never had a full time job..my NVQ was full time but I got a pound an hour.
13. I have an NVQ in Business & Admin.
14. I've never been to a club/pub/experienced the social night life, except parties.
15. I have never been admitted to hospital.
16. Since I was little I had a fear of dogs until last year...separate post to follow.
17. I have a selection of fears/feared situations that I want to overcome,
but who doesn't?
18. I love being out in the fresh air.
19. I love when Saturday nights are filled with good entertainment, like now...stepping out, x factor & through the keyhole.
20. I'm not a fan of horror films, what's the point in scaring yourself silly so you don't sleep or so every noise your convinced is a murderer.
21. Duvet days are the best...obviously when you don't feel poorly cos then you just feel sorry for yourself.
22. My favourite Winnie The Pooh character is Tigger, always has & always will.
23. I always like to look on the bright side of life & think positive.
24.  I have 7 GCSEs.
25. I have never been to London.

Have you done a similar post?
Do we have anything in common?
Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading.
- Anna ♥

Hey, let's talk about....judging

It's that time again, time for another round of hey, let's talk about....

This week I've decided to discuss about judging

& by judging I'm meaning judging people.

 

I've decided that at the start of every month now when I do my hey, let's talk about post. I will be involving some of my lovely friends & the lovely blogging ladies (who are actually becoming my friends too).

 

This week I asked Sinead & Michaela if they fancied taking part & both of the girls were excited & happy to be a part of this. Both of the girls have their own blogs too. Sinead can be found here & Michaela can be found here. I really like both of their blogs so be sure to head on over & check them out.

 

Let's get started, when I decide to do a post I always head on over to weheartit to find myself a lovely image that fits in with the discussion. I basically just searched judging & this is actually a quote that I like myself & it actually was in my images I had hearted.

 

Image found on weheartit

 

"You know my name, not my story" is such a true quote because of course most of us judge without knowing someone's story/past & sometimes we even judge without knowing their name. But of course we all judge people, it's part of life. Our judgement is what helps us through life when it comes to choosing friends & people you want to be a part of it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making judgements at all. Most of us will probably go by our first judgements, which is usually our gut instinct. I know that sometimes you can feel bad for judging people, but I don't think it is something we should feel bad about at all, remember we are all only human. It's completely natural. We all judge & we are all judged too, it's the way life goes. Yeah, it's not really a nice feeling but we are all guilty of judging others too. Nobody is exactly the victim in this.

 

I'm going to now share with you the girls opinions on judging people.

 

- Sinead -

In my opinion judging people is completely normal, it is something everyone does and is part of human nature. Throughout my teenager years, especially when I began secondary school I was a lot worse at judging people before I got to know them, both male and females. If someone looked scruffy, geeky, overweight or just generally unattractive, I would think to myself 'OK I definitely don't want to associate myself with them' which looking back on now was very shallow and harsh of me. But as I went through secondary school I actually became good friends with a lot of people I initially had that opinion of, and realized the amazing personalities they had. Now that I'm older and a little wiser I definitely appreciate that even if someone appears a certain way at first, that doesn't mean that they don't have the potential to make amazing friends and add a lot to your life. I'm not going to lie, I definitely do still judge 'the book by the cover' so to speak, but I keep an open mind now, I give them a chance, I realise that they could still be amazing people and I never rule out getting to know the person underneath. I don't think any of us should feel bad about judging people by the way they look, dress or just generally come across, its completely natural. But I do think that we should not let those initial judgments stop us from giving people the chance to show us what they are really like.

 

- Michaela -

I think more than the majority of people makes the mistake with judging people. Judging them on their appearance, the way they talk, their likes and dislikes, on their opinions. And it has happened occasionally where I get it wrong. Where I think I know a person. A few months back I met someone who was in my college course in Ireland. And they appeared the rough, dangerous type. I was judging them immediately on the way they dressed, and the way they spoke. They had come over to Ireland from a rough part in Britain. So days passed, and they would talk to me, and I found myself laughing and enjoying our conversations. I felt so bad and ashamed with myself that I had judged them so badly. I told them of what I thought about them when I first met them, and they weren't the least bit annoyed with me, they funnily enough laughed. So from them on I tried to stop judging on first impressions. Sometimes our judgmental impressions are correct, but we should be the ones who make an effort. We should give the other person a chance. It's only right! Even though our appearances are different, and that we come from different places and have different beliefs, we should all give people a chance. They say opposites attract and friendships begin in the strangest of places. And they do! We must take the steps in listening and communicating to one another carefully, and figure out who people really are. No more judging! No more first impressions! Let's give everyone a real chance.

This post has been a little mixture of opinions but that is usually the case when you ask different people their opinion on something.

What do you think about judging people?
Let us know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading.
- Anna ♥

My Driving Journey - Lesson 21 & 22

Tuesday 3rd September

Todays lesson involved a new manoeuvre, I love it when a new manoeuvre gets introduced even though for the majority of it I feel like I just sit there saying yes, yes, yes. Because I'm listening & paying attention, what else are we meant to say? Should we just stare & be quiet? So today I got introduced to bay parking, which is just basically parking in a bay. The name kind of gives it away, don't cha think. Even though I don't actually know anyone who calls the spot a bay..what do you call a space in a car park?  It was really interesting today actually because we went to the car park where I did my first ever lesson. When we pulled in my instructor (Sharon, let's call her Sharon because that is her name after all) said to me, just imagine the last time we was here & how much progress you've made. When it's put like that I was like, wow yeah! It just makes you stop & think...a lot of progress has been made since then.

 

Thursday 5th September

Today my lesson was an early one & I was feeling abit iffy, which obviously led me to debate whether I really should go. But I thought no, I'm doing this. I was honest with Sharon how I felt when I got in the car & said I know it will go one of two ways. It will either go really good or really bad. Luckily I think it went really good. We went back to the same car park as the first lesson, so luckily it wasn't a million miles away if I wanted to head back home before the lesson was up. I got to practice bay parking again. Once you've practiced something a couple of times things start to click into place.

 

 

So that is how this weeks lessons went.. Unfortunately I didn't manage to keep my winning streak of no safety behaviour going. On the Tuesday lesson I had one mint because the smell of the new air freshener was slightly strong & making me feel funny. But that was it, Thursday there was no safety behaviour. Woohoo! I still can't believe I've had 22 lessons now, I never thought I'd have 2 lessons nevermind 22!

 

Are you learning to drive?

Maybe your blogging about it too, leave me a comment below..

I'd love to hear from you.

 

Thanks for reading.

- Anna ♥

 

Hey,let's talk about....the return of the x factor

It's that time of year again....
Yes, you've got it..it's the return of THE X FACTOR!
Last night the x factor returned to our screens, which means Saturday night telly will be interesting once again..I absolutely love being able to get in my jim jams early on a Saturday night & getting all snuggled up infront of the telly..Is that classed as "sad" for a 21 year old to love that? Well you know what, I don't even care! Every weekend will be the same on these dark winter nights..

Let's get discussing about last nights show then shall we?
I'd love for you all who are reading this to answer in the comments below..
Thanks in advance if you decide to join in & respond.

Did any of the singers stand out for you? If so which ones.
Who is your favourite judge?
What is your favourite part of the whole show?
Who is your favourite singer/band to come out of the x factor?

Of course I'm going to share with you who stood out for me.
I had to smile because my lovely friend Jess actually did a tweet saying..

So of course I was on look out at that point, I wasn't watching it in time, I had it recorded cos the amount of adverts drive me crazyyyyy! But I did ask her about who it was & she said a boy called Luke who wrote his own song....
Girls & boys I introduce to you Luke Britnell..

 

As soon as Luke started playing his song on his guitar & started singing, oh my! My heart just melted a little & I couldn't help but smile & tap my foot (gosh, that makes me sound old) his original song is soooo catchy. If you don't like happy stuff, then this song probably isn't for you so I don't recommend it. Jess actually then tweeted me once I had watched it saying it was a very me song cos as most of you will know, I like to be positive & look on the bright side of life.

 

 So since last night I decided to do a little bit of hunting down on Twitter..don't make out like you've never done it before. I managed to find his twitter page which you can find too by clicking here & then his YouTube channel which you can find on his Twitter page in the bio or click here. That is how I'm assuming it is the real Luke by the fact his twitter is linked to his YouTube channel, if that isn't the case then I may just look like a little silly & be leading you the wrong way so sorry about that guys. But I'm pretty sure it is the right places to find him.

 

Whilst on his YouTube channel I came across his lyric video for his song think positive, his audition song, so have a cheeky listen to it. I don't think you'll be disappointed if you like positivity..

 

 

While I was there I came across some of his other videos such as this one that I've fallen in love with too called Who's loving you.. Yes, it is a length song but once you have actually listened to it, it doesn't feel like you have been for almost five minutes..

 

 

Seriously guys I really suggest you check him out,

if you do please let me know in the comments below.

 

Thanks for reading.

- Anna ♥

 

My Driving Journey - Lesson 19 & 20

WOW....

Can I just say I never really expected to get past my first driving lesson in all honesty & here I am, heading towards driving lesson number 21! It appears there is no stopping me now..Let's go go go....

 

 

Tuesday 27th August

Today I expected to be going on a drive around kind of lesson but I was wrong..

We went on to an housing estate where we have been before to practice (is practice spelt like that or like practise? If you could let me know that'll be great) some manoeuvres. I got to practice doing 3 point turns. Gosh, it's weird what you remember when you haven't done it for a couple of weeks. Then I drove through my town, well the outskirts to the next village. Dealing with traffic lights & a big roundabout. I got to practice reversing round a corner before heading back home. I think it went fairly well to say I obviously hadn't really practiced because driving around doesn't usual involve the manoeuvres.

 

Thursday 29th August

So today was a drive around kind of lesson, but not just any kind of drive around lesson..wait for it, an independent driving lesson. Can I get a ooohhhh? We went to the next town, the anxiety provoking one for those who are just tuning in. Then we headed towards the bypass, my instructor then said I would be doing some independent driving. Which is basically where you just have to follow the signs & make your own judgement. It was pretty fun actually because as you'll know if you are taking lessons or have taken them, your instructor is like a sat nav..at the end of the road, turn left. So the sat nav/instructor was muted for a while & I think it went pretty well..

 

That is all I have to share other than, oh wait for it...

Yes, you have probably guessed..

6 DRIVING LESSONS WITH NO SAFETY BEHAVIOUR!

WOOOHOOOOOO!

 

Are you currently learning to drive?

Or have recently passed?

Actually have you been driving for years?

Let me know in the comments below if you have any advice.

I love to hear from you.

 

Thanks for reading.

- Anna ♥