if you go down to the woods today...be sure to wear wellies/sensible shoes.

On Friday, I decided to take myself off to a local National Trust Park. I'm a lover of my own company, some people might think that's pretty strange but I don't. I can be independent, I can be on my own quite happily, I don't always have to be surrounded by people.

In the morning I had done a few jobs around the house, you know the usual boring cleaning jobs. But I thought, you know what...all work & no play makes for a very boring life so off I went. With it being nice weather already, I didn't really think I'd need to wear my dog walking wellies. I thought I'd be able to walk on the paths that weren't muddy. Within seconds of arriving, my curious side got the better of me & I headed over to a information sign that was on a grassed area. Boots, with very little grip lead to this...

a) am I really sharing this photo on here? yes, looks that way &  b) did I really need to take a photo? oh of course, I need to take photos of everything! How else will I document my life? ;)

If I hadn't managed to keep my balance I would of been well & truly covered in mud & slightly extremely grumpy. Luckily a few months ago in a moment of madness which I now think was actually a very good moment, I decided to buy an extra pair of wellies to keep in my car because well you never know. Safe to say I was very extremely pleased to open up my boot & grab my wellies to go.

Recently I've taken my camera out alot (to the point of boredom) when I've been out dog walking but since we tend to walk in the same area it was lovely to be able to take my camera with me & snap some photos of some other beautiful scenes.

Of course if I'm sharing them on here, I'm going to have to share them how I would in person...talk you through every single photo.

Ok?

If you've got a problem you'll have to have a word with goosey Lucy (googled this to be doubley sure it was a goose, it is...a canada goose infact...canada? canadian?)...

The sun was shining, so a shadow shot was in order...I look soooooo bloomin' tall!

& you know, just incase one shot isn't enough I had to strike a pose. I did check behind me to make sure that nobody was too close to think I was a little strange...

No matter what age you are, you are never too old to walk/jump in puddles! Unfortunately today there was no jumping, I was feeling a little uneasy so I just stuck to steady walking.

Every now & then though it's ok to take a little photo of yourself, right? Right...I thought so too.

Seriously how beautiful is this lake. It's almost too good to be true, there must be some kind of lake monster hiding under there somewhere?

Oooh, how pretty & I can spot my shadow too...

How many Trolls could live under this bridge? It automatically made me think of Billy Goats Gruff.

In some ways this isn't the most 'perfect' photo but in my eyes, it is absolutely beautiful. The sun was well & truly shining bright & look at those clouds too.

A little part to add in here, when I was finally ready to start my walk I had no idea where to walk. I'd never been to this park to walk. I'd been once before & we was on a big field before the main part of the park so I had no idea where to go. I spotted a sign, it had a map & marking showing the walk route. At the side it also had some writing too, saying it was a 1.5 mile walk. Easy peasy I thought to myself, when I've mapped my dog walk before it has been 2 miles, no worries.

No worries until I wasn't actually going the right way & ended up not only taking the wrong way but also ending up on the wrong side of the lake. I knew it would still be alright though, I'd got my trusty wellies on so the muddy paths didn't bother me & the sun was still shining. Thankfully about three quarters of the way round, there was a lovely little cafe on wheels.

What a nice little treat.

I bought myself a lovely cup of peppermint tea (managed to spill some on my hand & also on the serving counter....oooopppsss! turns out I wasn't the only person to do it that day, thank god) & a scrummy flapjack.

It felt like I'd spent so long in the woods it was only appropriate I snapped this sign, I thought the sun shining through also looked pretty cool.

Speaking of the sun shining through looking pretty cool. I was just hoping that the sun would stay up long enough for me to get back to my car in time. I had absolutely no idea how much further I'd got left to walk. I could of sat outside the cafe on wheels but I didn't dare because I didn't have time to kill.

This photo reminds me of a campfire scene in a movie. You know like when you see people go on spring break? or a family holiday.

I was amazed by the different shapes, shading, textures & patterns...

If I see or hear a squirrel I get a little bit excited, maybe a little bit too excited sometimes. Hey, they are such cute little creatures. I was absolutely loving how many squirrels were about, I mean fancy it...in the woods, squirrels?! never!

I couldn't get over how close they would stay to me neither. Where I normally walk the squirrels don't stay near you at all. These ones weren't scared at all, I didn't have to zoom in this photo (below). I just wish I could of fed them, can you feed squirrels?

The sun was setting but the views were still absolutely beautiful.

Can you spot lines running down the right hand side? Yeah, I'd got something on the lens & hadn't realised but still, it doesn't ruin the photo (I don't think so anyway).

Another corner, another beautiful view...

A cheeky selfie? oh why not...but I mean looking back at this now, WOW talk about dark circles...

I'm a) currrently in love with how I'm curling my hair &  b) I seriously love this scarf too. It goes with so much, just whack it on & you're good to go.

If squirrels weren't cute enough, I spotted some bunny rabbits too. They were alot closer (I used zoom on this one) but I didn't get my camera out quick enough.

I have no idea who this man was, but I just had to capture the cuteness. I mean, talk about friendly squirrels...

Sunset, chapel & trees...

Something so beautiful as this row of trees, yet some people don't appreciate the beauty.

You can kind of spot the smudge/lines again but I wasn't going to focus on that & let it ruin the photo.

So a few hours down the line, I was done. Even after taking the wrong route, it was still a beautiful walk with some breathtaking views. I will definitely be returning again & hopefully I'll head on off to some other parks too. I'll certainly be better prepared, I'll be taking a rucksack...armed with snacks & drinks.

I can see massive improvements in myself, two years ago if you had said I'd of been able to manage this I'd of thought you were crackers. Infact, if I had gone with someone I would of probably struggled more than I would compared to on my own.

♥

A little note too, my mum bought me a National Trust Membership in the middle of last year & this is the first time I've got round to using it but I will definitely be using it again & rejoining too. For a young adult it's just over £20 a year...madness!

Do you have any favourite parks to visit? Or any other National Trust place?

I'd love to know if you do.

♥

Dear blog,

2 years to this date I started to use you & by use you I don't mean the horrible, nasty use & abuse way...far from it. I mean use you to help me improve, only I didn't realise how much you would actually help me improve. In the early days I would just sit & type away whatever was bothering me. Leaving the house was limited & things happened, I stayed at home alot.

Over the years not only have I changed alot, but you've changed alot too. I've gone from an extremely anxious girl to a young woman with a little bit more of an understanding of what was happening back then & what still is happening. I've noticed a difference in myself from that very first day. We've grown up, together.

You've changed alot too, I was clueless at the start as of what to call you so we went by the name 'inmyownlittlebubble'. Safe to say I was in my own little bubble, it was quite fitting at the time. We started on the platform, Wordpress but after a few months I decided to make the change to Blogger (still keeping you open on wordpress just incase I didn't get along with blogger, safe to say the rest is history...but I did move all my posts across, don't want them being left behind). We then went by the name of awaywiththefairies321, it is now pretty clear to me I had no idea what to call you. I can honestly now say, hand on heart that I'm 100% certain that a whole lot of chitty chat is without a doubt your perfect name. It just seems so fitting. A whole lot of chitty chat, you are my escape & I absolutely bloomin' love & adore you!

                                       ♥

taking (fifty) five for time to talk day...

If you are very active on social media, especially Twitter (I say Twitter because that is the only social media I use...ok & Instagram but that is more photos than words) you will know that today is Time To Talk Day, created by Time To Change. The idea of this years Time To Talk Day is to take five minutes out of your day to have a conversation about mental health. So here goes,lets...

 TAKE FIVE TO BLOG...

(If you know me, you'll know this will take more than five minutes! I just can't seem to stay quiet for long...or stop typing)

I'm a little bit in love with my hair like this (certainly not my face) so I just had to take a photo...sorry, I'm not sorry :P

My name is...Anna and I have experienced...anxiety & panic attacks.

My mental illness has affected my...'normal' life.

My greatest source of support has been...my mum, my doctor, my therapist (second one!) & my friends I've made online.

My hope for the future is that...we can live in a world where more people talk openly about mental health, oh & filled with fun filled trips to meet my online friends!

♥

Ooooh, an added extra bit from the fifty 'five' minutes...aren't you just so lucky? ;)

In the town I live in, you wouldn't even think today was a day to raise awareness for mental health. Today I saw two posters...two! (that was obviously before I took matters into my own hands & took a little bit of action). I think that is absolutely shocking & just proves that we still live in a society where mental health isn't spoken about. The two posters that I saw where actually in a Mind shops window, well I'm glad they got on board. Even when I was sat in the doctors surgery today you wouldn't even think it was Time To Talk Day, not a poster or leaflet in sight.

When I received my package in the post at the beginning of the week I just knew I had to do something, I was planning on setting up again in my parents shop but they are so quiet at the minute it is silly so I thought I'd do something a little different.

I created a poster in the form of a letter & headed out into my local town to see where I could get these placed. Yesterday I headed to the doctors surgery & left my letter poster & some leaflets too. In all honesty the fact of it had to be approved by someone else did put me off a little & scared me too. Then today rolled around & I had a little bit of courage.

Firstly I did whack two posters in my parents shop window & then added my letter poster too. Then I headed into Mind to see if I could add to their collection in the window, turns out it couldn't go in the window but it could go in the changing room. That is fine by me, atleast it is up.

Afterwards I headed to see my friend who works in an independent store (independent ones are the ones where it is a simple answer, they don't have to ask someone higher up). Luckily she was super lovely (as always), she let me leave one of my letter posters, leaflets, pens & even ended up wearing one of the badges herself. I was proud of her, because I used to be a little scared to wear the badge in public incase people questioned it. (hello stigma?)

Next stop, the library...that was a success, I left my letter poster & a few leaflets behind too.

Next up, the dentists...at first I was scared to ask so I made out I needed to book an appointment (I kind of did too, maybe a little early) so out I tootled but then I kept stopping in the street & questioning myself so I ended up going back & leaving a few leaflets in the waiting area...the word is being spread!

Final stop in town was to a lovely little handbag & accessories shop, independent again...luckily the owner was kind enough to read & say yes to putting up my letter poster, hoooorrrraaaayyyyy!

After all of this I went & had a little catch up with my therapist who actually found out about today through me, how crazy is that?! She was so impressed with my work & she ended up taking two of my letter posters to show higher up in her company & to put up in the reception (yayyyy). I created two, one for windows/noticeboards & one that I could leave leaflets with...yes, I was that organised.

Well, that is how I spent my day...how did you spend yours?
Have you taken five to blog?
Please leave me a comment if you have or send me a tweet, tweet! :)

♥

my twenty third birthday in photos.

Oh, just saying that I'm twenty three makes me cringe & sad both at the same time. I don't like this getting old business, not that anyone is actually getting younger.

Birthdays admittedly aren't as exciting anymore & when people ask me what I'm doing for my birthday I'm usually a little bit like 'hmmm, I don't know'. Are we meant to do something on our birthday every year? Other than repeatedly use the excuse 'but it's my birthday', which I can say I used....alot!

This year I seemed to be running about alot, not much time was spent chilling until atleast five. I would say that is pretty good going, even though admittedly I've been chilling since before five tonight. What can I say, once it starts getting darker my body slows down & goes into relax mode...I just can't seem to stop it.

I did get to have a really good long Skype with one of my best friends Ally, I really wish I could see her more. Both on Skype & in person (never met her yet)! Along Skyping, cards & presents my birthday was made complete with some fantastic, incredibly made cupcakes. I mean come on...

I'd like to warn you,this post is crammed with cupcake goodness!

I didn't manage to take photos of them all since four of them got eaten on my birthday & I took these photos the next day. Should now be the time when I admit that I had a little photo shoot/session for my cupcakes? Don't judge me. I just had to capture the beauty of them.

My mum ordered me the cakes (sometimes, there are no surprises when you get older you know) & she said she'd told Becky (the creator & baker of such beautiful creations) to do whatever she'd like, she'd leave it to her. I mean imagine how hard that must be, try to create something when you're a little unsure. So me being me, decided I'd create a list to help her along her way. After noseying on her Facebook page where she posts pictures regularly of cakes she's created, I saw she had made cupcakes for a lady with a few of her favorite things on top. It was only right that I gave her a list to help her, surely?

Here are the finished cakes...

Honestly, if  I could capture the smell & create a candle I would because these smell sooooo delicious! I'm afraid you'll have to take my word for it, I can't share them with you. I wish I could.

A cupcake with your blog name on?! Now that is pretty amazing...

So much love for the cupcakes...smooches for them all around, showing the love!

Finally, after over three years of hinting nagging around Birthday & Christmas my mum finally listened &...

I finally received a One Direction card, oh yeahhhhh!!! Smooches & love for the 1D boys!

If you'd like to see more of Becky's (the cake lady) creations, you can check out my twenty second birthday post or my delayed birthday treat post.

I hope you enjoyed checking out the beautiful cupcakes, if you had to choose one of them to eat which would you choose?

♥

five things I'm proud of myself for...

Yesterday I was in the supermarket when I spotted an ex boyfriends dad. That instantly made me think of him (the ex boyfriend of course) & how well he must be doing with his life now. I genuinely felt like bursting in to tears right there & then, just thinking at how sh*t I've done so far. What do I have to show for myself? Am I doing really well in life, on the successful scale? On the work scale? On the money scale? No, not really.

I was texting my friend at the time & her automatic response to me saying how well his son was doing in life was, 'you're doing amazing!!xxxxxx'. Now I think about it, I'm actually doing pretty well. On the success, job, work & money scale not so much but health wise, positivity wise, improvement wise I'm doing a pretty darn good job. My friend then suggested that I wrote a list of 5 things I'm proud of myself for instead so here I am...

1. my little online space, my blog.
My blog isn't highly viewed, doesn't have a million followers, hasn't been professionally created but you know what I'm proud of it. I'm proud of everything I create for my little blog. I'm proud of watching not only my growth on here but also the improvement & growth of my blog itself. I'm loving learning more in this journey too.

2. my photographs/photography.
The photo above doesn't exactly show off my photo skills does it :/ but hey, we'll just say I'm not good at photographing at nighttime or screens, deal? Deal! :) Why do screens never take a good photo? Any ideas?

 When I first started blogging I would just use photos of quotes I'd find on weheartit (I'm still a little bit addicted to that app/site) or I'd just take photos on my phone & upload them. Phone photos then turned into camera photos (a compact camera) now I've got a bridge camera (I don't understand what that means but I know it takes better photos). I'm more into learning about the settings when it comes to taking photos now. Almost every time I turn on my camera I learn something new. My photographs are certainly something I'm proud of & the improvements I'm making.

3. passing my driving test.
I've repeatedly said this but after experiencing panic attacks & anxiety starting between the age of 16/17 I never thought I'd ever be able to sit a single lesson, let alone sit over 60 & sit 2 driving tests. But I did it & I'm so proud of myself because I know just how hard it was for me.

4. being a good person.
Don't get me wrong I'm not any kind of angel or saint but I class myself as a good, genuine, honest person. I can occasionally be found fighting the urge to scream thank you at someone sarcastically whilst they don't have any manners after I've held the door open for them or let them go past in a busy shop. Sometimes when I'm driving I find myself fighting the urge to stick two fingers up at ignorant drivers. I thought I'd throw that bit in the mix cos I don't want to fully toot my own trumpet cos I'm not all good, nobody is but being a good person is something I'm proud of.

5. how far I've come.
Sometimes you have to loose something to make you appreciate it more. Freedom, health & independence were certainly something I lost. Until something is taken away from you, you don't fully realize how much it actually means to you. I now have all 3 of them back, to some degree anyway. Little improvements are made fairly often now.

This is a quote from my very first blog post, in the archives somewhere you can find a post when I looked back over old posts...if you want to of course.

So yes, that is the five things I'm proud of myself for. Maybe in a couple of years I'll be able to create a list of five different things I'm proud of myself for.

I just want to say a little thank you to Bethany (my friend who suggested I create the list), thank you for always being so supportive, so lovely, so genuine, so honest & just so you I guess. I know you've got a tough week ahead but I know you can make it & you know I'm only a text, tweet, imessage, facetime, phone call away if you need me!

If you're feeling abit poopy about yourself why not join in? Write a list of five things you're proud of yourself for, I'd love to read them!

♥

missing in action, a little update...

Almost at the end of January (where has this month gone) & I've only posted once, yes...once. I'm not exactly happy with this but sometimes life happens & we just don't have time to blog, bloggers who else is with me? A little voice inside my head wants me to apologise but why should I? :/

I'm just going to share a little update & hopefully get my blogging mojo back sometime soon, hopefully very soon.

At the beginning of the year (2nd January if were being exact), my dad had a back operation so I've been helping him alot, whether it be around the house (you know, tea must be made every half an hour on the dot) or driving him to hospital appointments. So I've been helping with my dad & him being out of action also means my mum is in need of a little more help at the shop too. Luckily (in a way of course) business is alot quieter after Christmas but everyone seems to be quieter so nothing to worry about there.

Over the past two months or so I've felt like I've lost myself. Only slightly but I feel like I'm getting myself back. I'm learning alot more about myself, knowing what I like, knowing what I don't like. Knowing what kind of people I need in my life, knowing what kind of people I don't need in my life. Knowing what makes me happy, knowing what doesn't make me happy. One thing I'm still to figure out is what I want to do as a career, working in a carpet shop (what I do now) isn't that enjoyable. Plus, there isn't an awful lot to do sometimes either. I need to find myself more.

One thing I have learnt about myself is I'm loving my new camera my parents bought me for Christmas. I've taken over 500 photos in less than a month but I've narrowed it down to a few of my favorites to share with you.

I've learnt something I like about photography, I prefer to take creative photos. I like creating photos, making them different, spotting something unusual or unusual and beautiful. Once I've captured a photo I don't like adjusting the lighting in photos though, I don't tweak them slightly. I like to keep them original, leave them natural. Obviously sometimes though I do tend to alter the effects, I'm quite a fan of the black & white photos.

Hopefully over this year we'll (me & you, my friend) will be able to see improvements in my content & my photography.

Whats new with you?

♥

one year, twelve goals...

It's important, good & healthy to set ourselves goals. The goals I've set are all very realistic & do able, if I take the right steps in the right direction to head towards them/reach them.

I'd first decided I was going to create just six goals, then my idea changed. One goal per month is pretty much doable, right? Some of the goals will be something that will hopefully happen every month anyway.

Let's get started...



1. Meet atleast 3 online friends.
Over the past few years I've found myself in some very lovely friendships online. Online, then turns to texting, that can lead to Skype/phone calls & you can also end up sending post. Some people will debate how you can create a friendship with someone you have never met, believe me when I say this it is one of those things that you probably wont understand until you've been there. So yeah, girls you know who you are & we need to be meeting.

2. Attend one or more concerts.
For this year I already have 2 concerts booked, but just because they are booked doesn't necessarily mean I'll be able to attend them. I'm going to try my best to, I'm already planning how I'll manage it & the first one isn't even until April. In the meantime though, I best get practicing my lyrics (even though I could possibly be a backing singer already with the songs I already know on the albums)...

3. Save more money than I spend.

This year is the first time I've noticed a serious drop in my bank balance, it makes me feel pretty anxious. I'm worrying a little about it but if I stop my spending sooner rather than later & save more than I spend we should be all good. So days that could be spent shopping will be altered for something else that won't be as expensive.

 

Plus, for the times when I do go shopping I have a new rule when it comes to clothes (a girl can never have too many clothes, right? wrong?) if I don't wear the item within two weeks of buying it I'm returning it. If I really do love something I wear it within a few days. 

 

4. Take a weekend break.

I've not been on holiday for the past 7 years. But since I haven't been I've kind of got in the mindset of I'm not really bothered about it. I did used to enjoy holidays, I'd really like that feeling & experiences to come back. I could even mix this one together with meeting online friends. Travel closer to them & stay in a hotel (even though this would be spending money) but hey, experiences & getting to meet fantastic people.

 

5. Read one book every month (more likely every two months).

 I'm an absolute sucker for a good book, I would say who isn't but I know a few people who can't stand reading. They'd much rather watch the film. The thing I love about reading a book is that you can create the characters in your own mind, you can picture them how ever you want. Films, you don't have that option. They are already created on screen for you.

 

Over the past couple of months my pile of books to read has grown higher & higher. Have you read any of these? I'm really looking forward to reading them.

 

 

 

6. Tackle the stigma surrounding mental health more.

 Tackling the stigma can be pretty easy, we can all do it. Speaking openly about mental health is one of the ways of bashing that nasty stigma. I plan to speak more about mental health. I can't speak for every mental illness but anxiety & panic attacks, sure thing.

 

7. Drink more water

 How many of you have this as a new years resolution? I don't usually. But I'm actually enjoying the taste of water. Water wins against drinking fizzy pop any day of the week, drink fizzy pop & you still seem to be thirsty if not even more thirstier. Water is the way forward. At the minute I'm probably only drinking two glasses of water but it is a start.

 

8. Spread my blogging wings a little more.

My parents bought me a new camera for Christmas, I can't thank them enough cos I bloomin' love it so much. I used to use a little Canon compact camera but now I have what I call a big girl camera. How many of you have a big girl or big boy camera?

 

My Christmas present to myself was then a tripod, so I can create some fashion related posts. I'm thinking of 'one top, three ways to wear it' kind of post. I'm hoping to give others inspiration & ideas, but also give myself some too whilst I'm rummaging through my wardrobe. So watch this space...

 

 

9. Keep my diary up to date.

 Last year I managed this up until I think it was September, at the end of every week I'm going to sit down & make sure it is up to date. I could maybe even try to plan a few blog posts for certain days around what I'm doing, please don't hold me to that.

 

10. Cook more meals.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't cook that often, mainly because admittedly my mum does most of the cooking in our house. If you have any recipes then send them my way, I'll be very grateful. 

 

11. Enquire more about braces.

Almost every time I look in the mirror I question my teeth/my smile. There was mention of me being referred last time but I haven't so maybe next time I'm at my check up I will mention it. Or I can get in touch with the orthodontist myself. I'm pretty sure it is expensive though but I think I'd only actually need them on my top teeth. 

 

12. Move...more.

I want to be more active. Recently I've found myself sitting down, looking down & thinking when did my belly get that much bigger. I'm not saying I'm fat because I know I'm not, but I'm not pleased with what I see so I'm going to move a little bit more. 

 

♥



There you have it, my twelve goals for this year. I'm thinking of reviewing them every three months so I can track my progress.

 

Have you set yourself any goals this year?

Let me know, I love hearing from you!

 

              ♥