When something is bothering me a little I do what I know works best for me, turn to my blog, write it all out. Them negative, pretty pointless swimming fish, that don't help anyone. Atleast typing it out I don't have to explain my slightly craziness to anyone? Nobody needs to run for the hills, I promise.
I'm managing things so much better these days, and by 'things' I mean day to day stuff. Things that I do every single day, day in and day out, my routine. I can function like a normal human in my comfort zone. What happens when something comes up that isn't in my normal routine, something a little out of the blue, out of my comfort zone? Obviously I run the scenario around in my head a million billion times, of course...I mean what else would a completely normal person do?
The main thought spinning around in my head right now is, 'am I going to be out of my comfort zone too much?'
Maybe I should elaborate a little bit more. This weekend I'm going with an old school friend and a few of her friends to watch her boyfriend in a charity football match, great! I'm actually really looking forward to it. It's at the same stadium that me and my mum often go to every weekend (when it's football season of course).
Obviously though I'm left with doubts in my mind. Funnily enough I chat away like there is no tomorrow yet I'm not overly great around people. Some people who know me will probably find that hard to believe. I do a lot of things by myself because it's easier that way, if I panic I'm not letting anyone down. So what happens if I panic when I am with these new people? People who aren't all familiar to me? Will they think I'm really weird? Will they notice that I'm acting a little odd? Will they judge if I suddenly want to go home? Oh god, this is what anxiety does to you. But atleast I'm getting it all out, I might even end up sending this link to my friend to pre warn her what she is letting herself in for. Adele, god help you!
Anxiety makes me realize I can't seem to do things 'normally' anymore. Whatever is normal anyway? Normal must be boring, surely?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.jpg)
I know the feeling. Honestly, every time a new event comes around that'll interrupt my daily life for one day or night I freak out. I over-analyse before the event, trying to make it as predictable as any of my usual day to day activities. New people are just scary, when they really shouldn't be. And the thing is, if I really didn't want to go I just wouldn't, but obviously I do. It's like this complicated way of saying people scare me but I love being around them at the same time. It'll all work out in the end. It always does. These events always become anticlimactic.
ReplyDelete-M
The Life of Little Me
I completely agree with you and your comment. The event wasn't scary, surprise surprise. The difference with me now is I try these events, before I would just shy away and say no. xxx
Delete