Some day a guy will walk into my life and make me wonder how I ever lived without him, I'm sure. In the meantime I remind myself that the people around me might not of been fighting a mental illness and I tell you what, it isn't an easy fight but I will win this war.
Since becoming ill almost eight years ago I've not been in a relationship. Relationships can sometimes be tough but I imagine throwing a little bit of anxiety and panic into the mix would make things interesting and even tougher because I get frustrated enough with myself when I can't do something and I kind of know what's going on in my head.
I mean I can't imagine anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone who can't travel more than an hour away, someone who sometimes is okay and manages going places and other days just doesn't. I just don't feel right now that I'm in any way capable of being in a relationship and you know what, that's okay. Being in a relationship is a choice, it is not compulsory.
There feels like there is so much pressure to be in a relationship and I honestly don't know why. I've seen people go from one relationship to another, jumping from one person to the next like they are jumping on the sofa cushions to avoid the hot lava. Is being single really that bad?
This post sprung to mind over the weekend when I decided to go out on my own, oooh the horror of it. "I mean people actually do that? Hang out on their own? Noooo, I'd rather just stay at home." I imagine that's how some people would react, but not me. If I had to wait for someone to hang out with I'd be waiting a very looonnngggg time and would probably rarely leave the house other than the occasional time and for work. Lifes too short not to enjoy it when you can. Plus I've learnt to do more things on my own.
So I took myself out, grabbed myself some lunch and took myself to the lake close by to enjoy the sunshine and nature. Independence is such a small thing we can sometimes take for granted but I don't anymore, I appreciate it so much since I've had it taken from me before.
If you want to be on your own it's absolutely okay. You don't have to be with someone for the sake of it. I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason, so someone will walk into your life when you least expect it.
Why should we have to wait for someone to come into our lives and show us our worth? We shouldn't there is one person who is always capable of doing just that...you!
Treat yourself as often as you can, love yourself as much as you can, take care of yourself every single day and most importantly believe in yourself, know your worth.
If you are single honestly it is okay, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Love the life you live, whether it be solo or as part of a team (either way is fine).
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I love the idea of hanging out alone, watching movies alone, shopping alone. I've never been able to do it, but I'd like to. As for that boy, I'd like to think that all of us are capable of being loved, but whether we love them back or it works out is not guaranteed, and there's nothing wrong with deciding to be alone, even though it might make you scared that no one will love you, because someone will.
ReplyDelete-M
The Life of Little Me
I'm sure you do it sometimes without even realizing though :) xxx
DeleteAs someone who struggles with being on their own, I think I can take a lot from this post! There definitely is a lot to be said for loving your life the way it is and honouring yourself (whether single or mingling) I think some, or most people just measure their self-worth by how many people love them/want to hang out with them. It's a tough world looking for love outside of yourself when all of us just need to find it within!
ReplyDeleteI love that you took yourself out on a little date. I hope you do it often, you most definitely deserve it!!
Whether single or mingling (I love the word mingling and have no idea why)! It's sad that we do measure our self worth by how many people love/want to hang out with us/like our pictures/comment on our writing/reply to our tweets.
DeleteIf you ever get an hour or even half an hour to yourself when Lila has plans I think you should take yourself on a little date, you'd enjoy it :) xx
I've read once that it is important to be able to be truly happy when we're alone before wanting to be in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI think it's one of the best and relatable quotes I've ever seen.
Have a great day Anna!
Yes Melinda, I completely agree with you.
DeleteHow can someone love you if you can't even love yourself?
Thank you for commenting, have a great day too :) xx