4 years of blogging!

February 5th 2013, the day I decided to start writing online/in a book then typing it up to share online. The time I decided writing might help my thoughts rushing around in my head, it might quieten them or atleast slow their pace down. It might make me understand the way I was feeling. Little did I know 4 years down the line I'd still be doing it and loving it. I'm not blogging nowhere near as much as when I started but back then I was firmly in anxiety's grasp, I felt I had very little going for me. Things have changed a lot since 2013.

I was spending most of my days trying to figure out what the hell was happening to me. Back and forth to the doctors in search of answers, switching doctors too in hopes of one of them actually helping me. Thankfully I found that one doctor and I really hope he doesn't go anywhere anytime soon. It took a while for him to pinpoint exactly what was wrong and that was made very clear when I had a full blown panic attack in the waiting area that then continued into my appointment with him.

Now I sit here writing this I'm recapping over the past 4 years of blogging, how much I've achieved is amazing for me. I haven't saved any lives or climbed any mountains, well I guess I have climbed a few mountains just not the real life ones. You know the kind of mountains I've climbed, the ones like making it out of my front door.

When the 5th February comes around each year I get a mixture of feelings. The main feeling is a sense of pride, not only for my blog itself (it's had a few makeovers over the years but it's finally starting to feel like home) but pride in how far I've come, how much I've grown. I feel happy to have made it through the bumpy road and finally feel like I'm getting a grip of this mental health/illness business. It took a long time coming I'll tell you that much and I'm still learning things every day.

*HIGH FIVE* to you 21 year old Anna who had no clue what she was doing in life but you are slowly getting there, you've got this girl (well most days anyway)!