more bad days than good...

Over the past couple of months or so now I've been struggling, more bad days than good.

I don't think a day goes by when I'm not worrying about my life (lack of it some days) or when I'm not scanning my body for signs of danger, possible serious illness or even a teeny tiny illness, a normal bodily function is triggering a panic attack.

I'm currently off work on sick after experiencing higher levels of anxiety and more panic attacks. The other day I hit a new record for me, 4 panic attacks in a day. I don't remember being this bad for a long time, I'd probably say as far back as the beginning of my diagnosis. I know 4 isn't many for some, a long time ago it wasn't for me but right now it's pretty big.

I write and share my life and experiences online to help others know they aren't alone, to help break the stigma and educate people. To prove that things can and do eventually get better, it might take some time and practice but it will be worth it. One day you can do something, the next you can't but don't beat yourself up over it (easier said than done I know). I'm hoping a few months down the line I'll be feeling a heck of a lot better. I'll possibly report back even though this is only my second post this year, I'm failing at blogging this year.

Mental illnesses are pretty much invisible. You can't see someones physical symptoms, the internal torment someone is experiencing, the daily battles they are having with their own mind. Some people don't understand mental illnesses for lack of knowledge (we'll educate them), others don't understand because they just don't frankly give a shit (we'll remove them from our lives).  

It's important to remember that it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to take time out, it's important to listen to your body and rest, recharge your batteries. If something doesn't feel right, chances are it isn't. Look after your body, give it all the love and care that you can possibly give.

If you're experiencing mental difficulties please seek help, it doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong for reaching out for help. There is always someone there for you.

If you don't know where to turn to, try either of the following two charities.



I've personally used both and cannot praise them enough. They are there for us, so please if you are feeling low use them.