Life gets busy, we stop finding time to do the things we love...for me one of those things is blogging, I miss it. I just love the freedom of opening up blogger on a blank screen and being able to just write away, about whatever I want to write about, someone somewhere in the world will be able to relate.
I'm here tonight to chat away about my mental health because anxiety is seriously rearing it's ugly head in my life at the minute. But what having a mental illness has taught me is not to fight it, don't argue and battle against it. Just accept it and it will soon become easier again, so I keep telling myself anyway.
A few weeks ago I saw this tweet.
'Having a high functioning mental illness sucks when all you want to do is scream out how NOT okay you are and yet you appear totally fine...'
Inside I was screaming, cheering and shouting ''yes,yes,YESSSSS''. This single tweet made my day and opened up my eyes. We are never alone in what we think we are going through, whatever we are going through we are going through it together with someone else, always.
Mental illnesses are extremely hard to explain to someone who has never been affected. Mental illnesses aren't always a case of it being in your mind, they can and they do produce physical symptoms too. Physical symptoms that can make day to day life that little bit harder but because we look fine on the outside doesn't mean we are on the inside.
Despite anxiety being a part of me I'm still a very upbeat person and when I'm down I don't tend to let anyone see that side of me (minus last week when someone at work asked if everything was ok because I didn't seem positive, I just burst into tears...cos I'm only human and sometimes emotions just let themselves out). Tonight is one of them nights, it's not even 8pm and I'm just exhausted and quite frankly I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep.
Some people's attitude towards mental health seriously sucks, it isn't as simple as just getting on with it or it just being life. But you know what by talking about mental health problems it will soon become easier for people to understand, well I hope so anyway.
Anxiety affects my day to day life just not on the scale that it used to. It's still there, it's the feeling that makes me doubt myself, doubt my ability to do stuff. It's the physical feelings that stop me from going far and doing things. Anxiety doesn't just get easier overnight or disappear, it tends to stick around for the long run but you know what, that's ok. It'll come and go at different strengths, take it from me it does get better though and you'll deal with it better too.
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you're my little tough cookie and i love you <3 xxxx
ReplyDeletethanks Ally, love you too! I'm soooo proud of you <3 xxx
DeleteMe too :(
ReplyDeleteit'll get better honestly, take each day as it comes <3 xxx
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