*sigh* another year older...

22nd January 2016, I turn twenty four...I'm sat writing this staring at the screen and questioning myself, am I really twenty four? Surely I can't be, this must be some kind of mistake? People still think I look sixteen but reality is, I'm not.

Birthdays are meant to excite us, aren't they?

Don't get me wrong, I was still excited about my birthday. I mean what's not to love about receiving lovely cards with thoughtful messages inside, hugs and well wishes in person and spending the whole day using the excuse 'well, it's my birthday' (yes I totally milk this one)! Oh and eating cake, don't forget the cake!

But this is the first year it's filled me with dread too. I'm feeling so anxious about all the judgments that are to come. All the expectations. All the comparisons. These are the things that can tear a person down, they can destroy a persons soul.

Life is different for every single one of us. So why should I be bothered about other peoples judgments towards me? I really shouldn't give a sh*t! But I do, because I'm only human. Admittedly though I'm gradually getting to that point though, where I'm realizing that my life is my life. 

I'm the one living it.

We really aren't robots, we aren't programmed to live life a set way. Far from it, life is very unpredictable. Different things happen that will try and break us. Things happen that will take everything away from us and make us work our butts off to get back what was once a normal life (anxiety I'm looking at you)!

Does it really matter that I'm not living life by the so called rules and expectations? Does this make me any less of a person? No, it doesn't. Far from it.

But you know what, with all the expectations, judgments and comparisons flying around I do know a few things for sure.

I'm the one who's been through what I've been through. I'm the one who knows exactly what it feels like to be me. I'm the one who knows fully how much I've grown as a person. I'm the one who knows what I'm capable of. I'm the one who knows my strengths and my weaknesses. I'm the one who knows me.

At the end of the day, the only person who can judge me and set any kind of expectations and comparisons against others is me. I choose to live my life the way I want to live it.

From now on I'm going to let other people's remarks, comments and judgments go in one ear and out the other because life is too short to care what other people think.

2015, you've been pretty good!

2016 is here, let's take a look back over 2015! I never used to do this, the years would just roll into each other but now I have my own little space on the internet, I love recapping and smiling at the good times that have been.

I've gone through my diary and blog archive (like I do every year) to see what has happened, what has been good, what has been not so good, what I consider as stuff worth sharing and today I'm going to roll it into one great big post. You have been warned! It'll more than likely be extremely long and waffley, what more could you ask for?

January saw me create a list of twelve goals...'one year, twelve goals'. I've recently wrote a blog post on how I did, how many of the goals I completed (I didn't complete them all)...you can check that out in 'one year, twelve goals...complete!'

January is my birthday month and this year I got the most amazing cupcakes known to man, honestly check them out for yourself! You will be amazed and maybe a little jealous too?! They tasted just as good as they looked too. I don't know how Becky (the lady who makes the cakes) never makes a bad batch! Seriously she has a skill!

I also created a list of 'five things I'm proud of myself for...'.

February, I took (fifty) five for time to talk day. Time to talk day is coming around next month again, woo hoo! Five minutes, so little time but that little time can still help beat the stigma surrounding mental health.

I wrote a letter to my blog, because I mean why not? It's helped me sooo much and I'd been blogging for TWO whole years!

 A random fashion post also happened...'how I look 'stylish' on a dog walk'. Random but I quite enjoyed it! Plus I mean Pudding (the dog) is adorable.

March, March, March...well, the year got pretty anxiety provoking from this point. As if attending a concert wasn't anxiety provoking enough, let's just add singing on the radio in to the mix. When I say singing, we can use that word very loosely. I got the words wrong, but still did it and won tickets to see Olly Murs!

I decided to create some Red Nose Day nails and shared a step by step guide how to create them, maybe you could give them a go for this year?

March was also the month where I'd clearly watched farrrr too much Pretty Little Liars and thought I surely wouldn't be the only one so I created a list, a list of you know you've watched too much Pretty Little Liars when...

I started my blog when I was really struggling with my anxiety and panic attacks, posts about them now aren't as often as they were. Pretty much every post used to be about my mental health but as I've got better I've decided to continue blogging but about other things in my life too. But one post that I do think is a pretty good post if I do say so myself, is 'you have a mental health problem? don't tell anyone...i'm kidding! speak up, be brave and be heard! beat that stigma!'

April was the month I saw Olly Murs LIVE! You seriously can't beat live music. Olly without a doubt knows how to put on a show. Every experience is a learning curve, so after going to the concert I decided it might be a good idea to share my top tips for anxiety and concerts put together.

Mental health is back in the mix (let's be honest, it never fully leaves here), I'm pretty proud of my writing in the post I wrote called 'anxiety, a love/hate relationship?'

May, well May whizzed by in a flash! In May I started my new job, seven months down the line I'm still there! WOOHOO, I'm soooo glad I left my previous job because I was just unhappy, I could feel it taking my sparkle away from me. Now I love going to work, life is tough enough as it is without making it harder for ourselves. Find something you enjoy, find something you love and just do it!

Speaking of love, I've got a lot of love for these three...Jamie, Dave & Pep came to visit. I had such a wonderful time and I want to see them again, not via a screen. If I could see them a lot more often other than via a screen that would be great...face to face beats face time any day of the week!

Love must be in the air because in May I also shared my latest love for Seventeen Gel Colour...

June... More live music, The Vamps! Of course I blogged about it, of course I've brought tickets to see them this year too. I seriously can't wait!

June was the month for Hillary's craft competition this year, I created a noticeboard and broke it down into a step by step guide how to make one yourself...

Another express myself kind of post, waffling away about 'being alone...is it really so bad? Is it against the rules?'

July, time to express myself again...'so you're not the same as everyone else? here's a secret...I'm not either'.

August, a month of more blog posts...not really real life experiences. I shared 'my thoughts and theories on Pretty Little Liars...'

A few weeks after that we had 'the big 'A' reveal...'

Another post for sharing (one of my most popular posts to date)...'inspirational reads, Katie Piper's books'. Read them, read them again, tell a friend, tell another friend...honestly, they are fabulous!

September, you can tell I'm working because blog posts are getting less often. The only post I created in September was 'looking back over old blog posts, part two...'. I seriously enjoy creating them posts. It really is nice to read things and see how far I've come.

October, October... 'a whole lot of chitty chat' turned two! WOO HOO!

I'm only going to share two posts in this month because they are both mental health related and I'm wanting to bash that stigma some more.

I shared the 'small things that make a big difference to my mental health...' and a little post how 'anxiety doesn't define me...anymore!'

November, I went segwaying. I've never been segwaying, despite it being a little weird experience (it made me feel a little sick, uneasy and off balance, have you seen them things?!), it was overall really good though! The weirdness was soon over shadowed by the buzz of it. I'd recommend it! I want to go again.

I took my first step in my Invisalign journey in November but mainly waffled about it in December.

December, Invisalign was pretty much all I had to chat about since I was busy working or at the dentists, you know...or sat on my bum doing very little after work :) living the dream?

One thing I did at the end of December though was blog about it being okay to not be okay at 'the most wonderful time of the year'.

Well, it's safe to say when you sit down and look back over your year, it appears you've done a lot more than you actually think. If anyone manages to get to the end of this without a) closing the page or b) falling asleep. I'll be amazed! Thanks for sticking around!

Share with me your highlights of 2015 too? :)

one year, twelve goals...complete!

2016 already? Seriously, where did 2015 go? It flew by.


This time last year I set myself twelve goals to achieve within the year. Twelve goals working out as one per month. How did I do? Let's see...


1. Meet atleast 3 online friends.
YES, YES, YES...I did it! Read all about when Jamie, Dave & Pepper came to visit here!

2. Attend one or more concerts.

YESSSSSS! I've been to 2 and a half concerts (we don't need to talk about the half)! Olly Murs and The Vamps were both incredible, I wouldn't doubt going to see them again! Already got my tickets to see The Vamps this year!

3. Save more money than I spend.
No, great big fail on this goal!


4. Take a weekend break.
No, another fail!


5. Read one book every month.
I think I've managed a grand total of 8. Since my last update I've read Carrie Hope Fletcher's book, 'All I Know Now'. Would I recommend it? Yes, yes I would! A very easy, light read which is relatable and will make you giggle.


6. Tackle the stigma surrounding mental health more.
I'm going with this as a goal achieved. My boss at work now knows about my anxiety and panic attacks. Plus I attended a mental health in the work place event with work so that's a bonus.


7. Drink more water.
I drink a lot more water now compared to what I did this time last year so that's an achievement.


8. Spread my blogging wings more.
Over the whole year, yes. My wings have spread more compared to last year I'd say. Another goal achieved but there is always room for improvement, 2016 could be the time.


9. Keep my diary up to date.
No, let's try again in 2016!


10. Cook more meals.
No, I need to make more time for this and maybe plan meals a week in advance.


11. Enquire more about braces.
This goal is well and truly achieved, surely it's worth double points for not only enquiring but actually going ahead with it. I'm currently rocking the Invisalign look!


12. Move...more.
I'd say yes. I do move more...when I'm at work, every lunch break I make sure I go for a walk to stretch my legs and the same goes for about 3 o'clock when we have the dog in the office (we have a office dog)!


Seven out of twelve goals isn't bad going if you ask me.

Did you do something similar last year? Or maybe you've created a list of goals this year?
Share them with me please :)

'it's the most wonderful time of the year'...

Not for everyone it isn't.

I've been wanting to sit down and write this post for a while now (but plans have got in the way), it isn't going to be a big one. But I just wanted to write it and address that it is okay not to be okay during 'the most wonderful time of the year'.

Ever felt pressure to be okay? We all have at some point or other I'm sure. But you know what, it's okay not to be okay. That covers all year round, Christmas doesn't make illnesses and feelings disappear, wouldn't it be lovely if it did.

I feel like Christmas is the one time of year where there is added pressure to be okay but it really is okay not to be okay, honestly.

Whatever emotions you are feeling it is okay.

I want this post to act as a little reminder for you and a little reassurance too.

Take it easy, look after yourself. Take your time and breathe. One step, one day at a time.

My Invisalign Journey - so it becomes real...

Just over a week ago I got my Invisalign aligners and attachments fitted. I can honestly say it feels like the world's longest week and I just want to move on to my second aligners (that's happening today)!

I've had a realization today, on my blog I can waffle away as much as I like, nobody is being forced into reading it so I can type as much as I like or as little (it'll more than likely be a lot, not a little). I absolutely love when someone gets in touch with me to say that I've helped them in some way, it's a great feeling knowing you're helping someone. We are all put on this planet to make a difference, I choose to make a good difference (admittedly sometimes I probably don't make a good difference, I'm only human not a robot)!

So I'm hoping I can help some people understand the Invisalign process a little more (I'm no expert, neither do I work for Invisalign so some of the stuff I say might be a little wrong so don't expect me to be a fountain of Invisalign knowledge). I'm just a girl experiencing and sharing her journey.

Before heading in to the dentist

19th December 2015, 9.30am
It's time for the journey to really begin. I'm getting the attachments and first aligners fitted, mixture of emotions...excited, nervous and scared all mixed into one big ball. It all feels very real now. Now I've sat down to write this though the appointment feels like a blur, it feels so long ago.

One of the things I was dreading about braces was the part where the dentist uses some kind of mouth opening tool to keep your mouth wide open and lips off your teeth. At first it was pretty uncomfortable, I'm sure no mouth is meant to open that wide. But after a few minutes I got used to it.

Once the dreaded part was over, it was time for a disco in my mouth (so many colours and sounds going off)! I got my teeth cleaned, shaved/filed, prepped ready for my tooth coloured attachments to be fitted (even though my dentist joked that he'd used the green colour attachments, could you imagine?!) I don't even want to begin to imagine...

Attachments fitted, it was then time for the aligners. I can remember looking at myself in the mirror afterwards and just staring at these great big things on my teeth. But after a couple of days they didn't feel so big.

After leaving the dentists, wearing my first Invisalign aligners.

Luckily I got them fitted on a Saturday morning so I didn't have work for a couple of days so I had a few days to get used to them, not only the look of them but the removing and reinserting of them. My dentist made sure I could take them out whilst I was there, he shared a few tips with me (I kind of forgot them, maybe I should write stuff down more)! I remember taking them out for lunch and it taking a good 10/15 minutes, I was so worried I wouldn't be able to get them out or I'd snap them. So far so good though, I haven't snapped them and I'm very capable of taking them out. Practice makes perfect springs to mind now.

The motto of the weekend was 'no pain, no gain' because my teeth were so sore. Every time I took my aligners out and put them back in it was painful, but it's ok...the pain can easily be eased with ice cream. Not only does it taste great but it also numbs gums, on to a winner here.

Today I'm moving on to my second set of aligners, hopefully the weeks after this will fly by.

My Invisalign Journey - it's ClinCheck time!

I'm doing pretty well this time around, I had my first ClinCheck on the 10th of December and my second on the 11th (you don't usually have two, only if you're unhappy with the first one). ClinChecks amaze me, actually if I'm being honest this whole process amazes me!

The ClinCheck is basically a 3D image/video on screen of your teeth, made up from the impressions that are sent away to Invisalign and a prescription provided by your dentist. Invisalign then create a 3D on screen plan to determine how your teeth will move. I'm not going to lie, I just thought your teeth would move to create straight teeth and that perfect smile. I was proven very wrong. All our smiles are different, so are the treatment plans available.

I was super excited to see my ClinCheck but unfortunately the first one left me a little deflated and gutted but have no fear, in came my wonderful dentist to the rescue! I seriously cannot fault the service they provide. Yes, you'd like to think all dentists would provide a good service but how many places do you know that are meant to provide a good service and don't. I can tell these people are genuinely nice and I look forward to sharing this journey with them.


The first ClinCheck my dentist showed me that Invisalign created was using only 14 trays, which would fall under Invisalign Lite. Invisalign Lite is the cheapest option available (it uses fewer trays) but looking at the movement my teeth would take and where they would end up, I wasn't happy. It left my front top teeth sticking out, that wasn't quite what I wanted out of this. But the joy with Invisalign that I didn't realize is you have total control over how your smile will look at the end (still amazed!).

Fast forward less than 24 hours, a new ClinCheck had been created. Only a couple of extra trays but I'm completely happy about this plan.

I'm so glad I got a choice of comparing them both and I'm so glad my dentist is absolutely fantastic. I seriously want to shout from the rooftops how amazing he is! I've had horrible dentists before, one who actually brought me to tears. Dentists aren't meant to speak to you the way he spoke to me, he spoke to me like something on the bottom of his shoe. Safe to say I never stepped foot in that dentists again.

After looking at both ClinChecks I didn't have to make a decision there and then, I could go home and think about it. Call them back whenever I wanted but I didn't need to think about it, I knew I wanted Invisalign Complete (the second option with 17 trays, even though I've got in my head I'm having 23? I'm not sure where that has come from).

What was left to do now? Once you've decided you want to go ahead with your treatment and the plan on screen, all that's left to do is click approve. I'm sure in most cases the dentist approves this for the patient but me being the dweeb I am, I asked my dentist if I could click approve myself, which of course he said yes so I clicked that button and felt soooo happy inside. So one click (ok, two clicks...you have to press ok again to be sure you want to confirm) and the journey really begins...

My Invisalign Journey - the impressions, photos and xray

I'm not exactly on track when it comes to updating my Invisalign journey on here, far from it right now. It's now December the 13th and my appointment for my impressions, photos and xray was on November the 26th (I've had two more appointments since then).

I love discovering blogs where people share their journey and experiences on anything really so I'm hoping to help someone understand the journey. I'm going to break down each little part of this appointment to explain what happened so you know what to expect.

The impressions...
  I was a little unsure about these, I did try to do a little bit of researching online (Invisalign is now my favourite hashtag to search for on Instagram, amazing results!) to see what I could find out about it really. I didn't learn alot, I just saw a few people taking selfies whilst having their impressions taken. I've absolutely no idea why they'd want to be taking selfies, I wanted that thing out of my mouth as soon as. I didn't want to think about taking a selfie or two.

My legs kept randomly shaking in the morning before my appointment. But I was a mix of nervous and excited. I've learnt with anxiety that emotions and physical symptoms run around in circles chasing each other but once you've worked through the worse of them, it does get easier.

The impressions are basically like a mold of your teeth.
How do you get these impressions?
Think gum shield with a handle, like a mini frying pan. Filled with gunky putty that sets after about 3 minutes. The putty isn't pleasant, neither is the gum shield frying pan (I'm sure there is a technical and official name for this) in your mouth! At this stage the advice I would give is focus on your breathing. It's fairly easy to panic a little at this point, I did. Admittedly it is pretty tricky to focus on your breathing with a gum shield frying pan in your mouth, I'm starting to think this is just called a tray.

If you're having Invisalign on both your top and bottom teeth that's a total of 6 glorious minutes with the putty and gum shield frying pan/tray in your mouth...yuck! But just think of your final improved smile.

If you have a big mouth you might find the impression taking easier. I struggled because my mouth is small but apparently that doesn't affect the noise that comes out of it...well some people clearly know me quite well.

The impressions might take a couple of attempts, luckily mine didn't. But my dentist still liked to trick me and told me I needed to do them again. Thankfully he has a sense of humor and makes the whole experience better. Laughter makes everything better right?


The photos...
  I don't exactly think they take much explaining. My dentist just took photos of my teeth from different angles to send off with my impressions. At this point I never knew my mouth could stretch so much, I had these two big plastic hooks (you can see them in the photo below) to keep my mouth open and to pull my cheeks away from my teeth to get a proper view. I'm not going to include all the photos in here, I'm going to leave them til the final post so I can fully compare the difference. I love looking at peoples before and after photos. I obviously don't have any after photos yet but I'm going to have to throw in some before photos so we all know what we are dealing with here.

photo my dentist took to send to Invisalign

before my Invisalign journey begins

my current 'smile'

The xray...
  They take an xray of your teeth to determine the movement of your teeth and to check for any teeth that could be hiding under the surface. To take the xray I had to stand in a room and bite on a little piece of plastic, then the machine went around my head taking an xray that looks like this...

As my dentist said, imagine someone has taken your smile and rolled it out with a big rolling pin.


Impressions, photos and xray taken...on to the next step, the ClinCheck (that's already happened I just need to write about it)!


Have you ever had Invisalign? or are you considering it? I wanna know! :)