Is being alone really so bad? against the rules of life?

Right, let me start this post off with a conversation that has made me sit and address the topic. In our lives there is always someone we know of, just know of to speak to, not know enough of to know them as a, alot of knows thrown in there!

A couple of weeks ago now I experienced this conversation with someone who knows of me, doesn't know me, certainly not enough to make any kind of remark towards me or my life...

"so do you have a boyfriend yet?"
"why not?"
"because I don't feel the need to have a boyfriend right now, I don't feel the need to be searching for one because I don't have one neither".
"you don't swing the other way do you?".


Yes, I did actually get asked if I was a lesbian because I don't have a boyfriend. I mean come on, just because I don't feel the need to be searching for a boyfriend high and low in shops, on the train, at an event, on social media, on a dating app or website doesn't mean I'm a lesbian.

Is it so wrong that I actually enjoy my own company and don't feel the need to have somebody else to make me complete?

We live in a world where we should be living a certain way. There is absolutely no right or wrong way to live your life, aslong as you live your life how you want then you're on to a winner in my eyes.

I once dated a boy who actually had a life plan, I'm not too sure how far his head was in the clouds or whether it was because we were so young and naive. He knew what age he wanted to be married by, what age he wanted to have kids. I don't believe life quite works like that. You can't plan your life, you can plan your day but life changes so much I don't believe you can have a plan. Things can literally change overnight and never be the same again. Don't get me wrong have life goals and ambitions but plans? Plans change a lot.

I'm now 23. Around my age it's expected that you're moving out, living with your boyfriend. I'm still living at home (very skint right now so have no plans on leaving my home) and not in any relationship. No relationships in the near future, well I can't see any but like I said life is unexpected.

There seems to be a lot of people who can't be alone in life, always with someone (I mean friendship and romantically). Over the past six years (I've been living with anxiety for like six years, madness!) I've learnt a lot about myself and about life. I've become stronger because I've fought my way back. I've become more independent after having my independence taken away from me. I've been fighting an illness that I couldn't understand, in a way I still don't understand some parts of it.

Life changes, people change, situations change.

One thing that has changed for me is the amount of friends I have, I can count them on one hand (ok, maybe two hands). By friends I mean true friends...people who get me, people who want to speak to me, people who want to spend time with me, people who enjoy my company, people who make the effort, people who understand me, people who don't just want me when they are bored, people who take an interest in me.

Loosing friends isn't easy but it has made me realize I'm a lot stronger and more independent than I ever thought I could be. I don't feel the need to go somewhere with someone. If I want to go shopping, I'll go on my own. If I want to go out for the day I'm quite capable of doing that too. If I want to go to the cinema, I'll do that alone too.

The greatest relationship you can have is with yourself. Reality is people come and go, some people do stay and things are great. But the one person who will always be there standing by your side is you.


  1. I always thought that someone who can go to a cinema alone is an empowered person, and I guess that makes you pretty empowered. I love this. I love this post and I love this reminder on how it's okay to not have friends constantly around you, to not need to rely on anyone other than yourself. Relationships shouldn't be forced - they should spontaneously happen. Friends shouldn't be kept for the sake of it - they should mean something. I want to become self sufficient, and I really will try.

    The Life of Little Me

    1. :) what a lovely thing to say! I seriously appreciated your comment so much and felt so much love towards it, I ended up instagramming it :)

      I agree with everything you've just said. If anything is forced it really isn't going to work, just go with the flow and don't force anything...what's meant to be, will be :) xxx

  2. A really well written post. I totally agree - its okay not to have a plan and its okay to have a plan that keeps changing! Like you say, don't think about what others are doing think about yourself!
    Zoe | floral and feather

    1. Thank you Zoe :)

      thinking about yourself, your life is the best way to be. Thinking about other peoples lifes will just bring down your happiness levels...not good for anyone xxx

  3. I definitely think it's important to be comfortable with yourself and happy in your own company. It's not good to always need someone. If you are confident and happy in yourself, you will be so much more attractive for someone to spend time with you anyways :) x

    Sinead | Dreaming Again

    1. absolutely! :) admittedly though sometimes depending who I'm around I feel uncomfortable but I guess then I shouldn't be hanging out with them, simples? :) hope you're well Sinead! xxx

  4. love you banana! you're amazing xxx

    1. love you too Ally! Thank you for being an incredible friend!!! <3 xxx