a back to basic rant..anxiety, boys, dates, relationship, sex, virginity...IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!!!

This blog post has zero structure. It's going to be like when I first started blogging, just type away what I'm feeling & thinking right now. I don't want to share every single piece of my life on my blog, sometimes things just have to remain private...got to keep a healthy balance. The situation up to this questioning & clogs ticking in my brain will be remaining private unless I'm obviously friends with you & I've shared it with you. But the situation is...
Admittedly not 3 of them in my life right now...just to throw that in there.
I'm not the kind of girl to go out looking for love. Admittedly the past five years of my life I haven't even really spoken to any boy, well the odd friend or fellow tweeter. I've been too busy focusing on my family, friends & getting myself together...ain't nobody got time for the added stress & possible pressure that a relationship sometimes brings! I really enjoy my own company, which I think is an added bonus but then in the same breathe I also like other peoples company too.
I often look around in the little town I live in & see people I went to school with starting families, some have two kids already & here I am...single & slightly scared, anxious & curious what the world of boys can bring...
A programme last night that I watched this morning (thank you sky+) called Virgin Territory, it follows fifteen young adults who still proudly hold their V card. I think it is a fantastic idea to film such a documentary to prove that if you are still a virgin as a young adult, it's ok...there is nothing wrong with it. So that put me at ease a little bit because I'm still a virgin myself...did I really just write that on my blog?! Looks that way. But there just seems to be so much pressure to loose your virginity, to be meeting boys, having sex...blah, blah, blah! Isn't sex meant to be a personal & intimate thing? Just like your virginity too?
Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about virginity but I came here to talk about how I feel like I've lost the ability to know what the hell is normal! Basically guys, I've been asked if I'd like to go on a date sometime...let me tell you this guys it was just as much of a shock to me as it is to you! :P Two things went through my head at the time...Number 1...ME?! & number 2...do people actually go on dates?! I'm 22 & haven't been on a single date. My usual kind of a 'date' would be me taking myself to the cinema...solo dates for the win?! I guess some company wouldn't be that bad but would anxiety behave itself & agree? Who knows!
Another problem I have is the ability to not get too attached. I do have a tendency to get slightly attached. I don't want to get full on attached to anyone or anything so quickly, but how can I help it? What I want is someone I can cuddle, watch tv with, watch movies with, chill with, go on walks with...just be myself with them! Is that too much to ask?
Okay, I'm going to leave it at that...me quite literally laying my cards out on the table so to speak. Getting out everything what is built up in my head, that is what blogs are for...right? Anyway, any words of encouragement guys feel free to send them my way, thanks! X


  1. I love how you are so YOU and real on yoyr blog. Youre always so honest and i love that. Im totally the same with the whole getting too attatched too quickly thing! I really wish i wasnt like that! I think you should go on the date, otherwise you might wonder what if. If you like him :) we should have another skype chat about boys soon haha xxx

    1. aww thanks Sinead :) I'd much rather be me...everyone else is already taken! :P :) we will be skyping & updating each other on the boy situations...yeah?! :D xxxx