Misunderstood..

Usually when it comes to posting I love to find myself a picture on weheartit but today I searched & couldn't find one but I absolutely loved this quote & thought it was very fitting so I decided to create my own version. Firstly I'd love to thank the powers of editing tools, obviously my teeth aren't that white, my lips aren't that pink
 & my skin isn't that clear....
 
 
This is a feeling I have really felt today after trying to explain my anxiety to my dad, I think personally a brick wall might have understood a little bit better. Mental health really is different for each sufferer just like any thing health related, no two people are affected the same. Personally I think sometimes your family & friends can find it hard to understand because they will have known the pre mental health affected you. I know I sometimes find it hard to get my head around & come to terms with my own anxiety at times too. I guess the whole point of this post is just really to express myself.
 
Unless you have experienced something you won't understand, you can try but the reality is you really won't get it. Until I was affected by mental health I didn't know such a thing existed. So if you have been affected by mental health then you will understand & have some reasoning for fellow sufferers & survivors. If not then I'm going to try & give you a little idea of what my day to day life can be like. You know that overwhelming feeling of nausea that hits you when your coming down with a stomach bug, & then once your bug has passed the feeling disappears. Well imagine having that feeling literally every single day, at different strengths. Imagine going out & wanting to come straight back home. Imagine feeling like you can't work, not because you don't want to but the basic fact of you don't want to let your employer down. Imagine you don't want to go on family holidays because you feel like you wont be able to enjoy yourself for racing thoughts/physical feelings & ruin the holiday for others. Imagine you don't make plans because you know full well that sometimes the thoughts in your mind won't stop going round & round or the feelings will be so strong that you won't be able to enjoy yourself. Imagine missing so many plans that you don't remember what it was like to live a "normal" lifestyle or actually imagine having one again. Imagine not being able to leave the house when the thoughts & physical feelings are so flipping strong.
 
People are so judgemental, that is just part of life. When people see someone who is physically ill they don't question it. The typical example is if you broke your leg, people would see you in the street & be sympathetic & send get well wishes. Or if you had to call in sick to work because you couldn't make it in, they wouldn't question you. They would just sympathise & try to understand.
 
When people don't understand someone with a mental health difficulty they might make remarks like, "what, there is nothing wrong with you?"...."oh, you don't work..why not?"...."what's wrong with you, you look alright"...."well you was fine yesterday"...."it's just in your mind, just stop thinking about it"....These are just a few examples that I've heard of & actually been aimed at myself.
 
Basically all I'm saying is that people might not understand me or my situation but I've started to not pay any attention to anyone else. I know my situation, I have to live with myself & my anxieties every day. Only I can make judgement about my life & difficulties.
 
Well that seemed like a lovely rant for you all, thank you for reading. Especially if you made it all the way to here.
 
- Anna ♥

6 comments

  1. I'm sorry that you feel this way, Anna. I've yet to meet someone in real life who has experienced my kind of feelings of anxiety and panic. Sadly, I don't think that most people can begin to understand.

    Debi x
    http://dibdabdebs.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Exactly, we can all feel alone at times. It really is true that you never understand until you have been through it yourself xx

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  2. I hope things get easier for you in the future, and I'm sure they will. Stay strong :) x

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    1. Thanks Sinead..I know they will :) xxxx

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  3. amazing post banana, you're doing incredibly well... never forget that. i know you will go far whatever you do. in your own pace, step by step. we will battle this together <3 love you xxxx

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    1. Thank you Ally! :) your support is incredible..love you <3 xxxx

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