a back to basics kind of post...possibly new & exciting changes?

Sat in my room on my own.
I don't want to watch a film.
I don't really feel like reading a book.
I want to do something productive.
Something to show for my time.
I really feel like blogging!
I don't feel like blogging a post I've kind of planned. I just really want to blog about how I'm feeling, what's going off in my little bubble...blah, blah, blah! You can guarantee they'll be a lot of chatter, as always.

Possible new & exciting changes might be hopefully happening. But (there is always a but, well so it seems anyway) changes might not be happening too. For the past four years I've never had a job of my own. I'm not ungrateful for my parents, not one bit! I'm so grateful & thankful that they let me work for them. But it doesn't really fully feel like I'm my own person anymore. I work with them, I live with them. Thankfully now I have my own car, I have my own little bit of freedom. Don't get me wrong either, I absolutely love spending time with my family but everyone needs a break.

Since I completed my NVQ I've been applying for jobs, when anxiety was at an all time high I wasn't even thinking about work to be honest with you. Anxiety was just so overwhelming in itself, without adding on the extra pressure & stress of a job too. So I started working for/with my parents & occasionally I would clean for my neighbour. I didn't feel like I needed to be earning lots of money, working a high paced job, living life in the fast life. I just wanted to be able to be steady.

Since anxiety seems to be behaving itself now (until recently that is, it's slightly creeping its way back in...the little sneaky thing!) I've decided to start applying for a lot more jobs. But obviously after a while, being turned down again & again gets a little bit boring & very predictable. Atleast that is better than being ignored, when someone applies for a vacancy at your business the least you could do is take the time to give them a response, they've taken their time to apply...show the same respect back maybe? Ooohhh, that really is one thing I hate!

Inbetween the mass of rejections, I have managed to receive one good thing & gained myself a little Saturday job...an as & when Saturday job. Not exactly what I was looking or hoping for to be fair. But it allowed me to prove to myself that I can work for someone other than my parents, it gave me the courage I needed to believe in myself & know I'm capable of applying for other jobs too.

The latest on the job front is I have been invited to a group assessment...

I'm not a big fan of creating a post without a picture of some sort to break it up..so I'll add this screen shot in :) It isn't overly clear, I'm aware of that :/ but can we all pretend its ok? :)

How am I feeling about this? Kind of unsure, excited, a little anxious, slightly scared & not sure what to expect. This is a pretty big step for me, this isn't something that happens often. I'm reminding myself though that the feelings are completely normal. The position is only part time but that is absolutely fine by me, something that will ease me in to things easily. If more hours come from it, that will be an added bonus. I'm not saying that I'm even going to get the job but it never hurts to go in to something prepared. I think if anything I'm more prepared for the rejection.

Anyway, that's kind of all I wanted to share really...I'll more than likely share more on this when I know more myself.

Anyone ever been to a group assessment evening? I've never been & would love to know if you have, what it was like.


No comments